He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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