FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
where are my eyebrows?
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