Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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