How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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