i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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