Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
