we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Everything about him screamed your future.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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