hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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