just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
