Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
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