I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
