Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
