I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
