im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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