Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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