There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Is it penis luge time yet?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
