I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize