We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
