Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
