:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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