I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We talked him into tasing himself.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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