margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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