I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
