well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
