don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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