I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
