This girl is more easily done than said...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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