I'm jealous of your bromance
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
