i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Randomize
