Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
