Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Do vagina's smell?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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