I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize