In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
