Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
