She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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