debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
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Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
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Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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