i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
