You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
