You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
you never un-have a 4some
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
