If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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