I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
