I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
