Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
