The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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