I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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