My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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