so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
