I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
