# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
