one might say we're banned from that church
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
