Sponge bath it is.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
