sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
