You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
