I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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