omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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