I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
