You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize