If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm gonna fight the coyote
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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