We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
