Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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