He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
