just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
it's like iHOP with fire
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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