Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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