so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
